St. John (Day 4)

We left Andante early (in the care of an unprecedented six iguanas on the deck-side cactus) and drove around the island to Salt Pond Bay, where we have had great snorkeling experiences before. This time, we were not planning to snorkel. Instead, we decided to hike the Ram's Head Trail, which heads out to one of the southernmost points on St. John.

The hike wasn't difficult (the trail is only two miles round trip), but this part of the island is hot, humid, and bakes under a brutal sun even with cloud cover. And it was all uphill with jutting stones in the trail that could easily send you sprawling onto rocks and barrel cactus. This made the hike a bit time consuming (somewhere between 90 and 120 minutes round trip. Of course, we were snapping pictures and at other times trying to figure out where the path was.

During the hike, we were reminded how varied the landscape is on St. John. There was a large salt pond just past the bay at the start of the trail, then we went up into the rocky scrub of the point. As we approached the sea, we came to a side trail that led to an overlook. The view was wonderful, including a sheer drop into a crevasse where the ocean roiled two or three stories down. Even here, the jagged rocks were supporting life. A beautiful green tree abloom with flowers grew off the rock, like a delicate fairy in the middle of an ogre's den. Jim was not thrilled with me venturing near the edge, but I had to see this inhospitable natural beauty.

The next highlight was a wide beach completely covered in cobblestones. Each one was a paperweight-ready smooth stone. I can't imagine how long it took to for the sea to smooth all these stones and pile them over the entire beach. As the waves came in and ebbed, they made a sound like one of those new age rainsticks. I imagine the snorkeling on this beach must be very good, but the idea of hauling snorkel gear all this way is a bit daunting. If I could have popped it in a backpack, that might have worked. While I'm not sure a backpack would have been comfortable on hike like this, a swim certainly would have been a nice way to cool off!

Looking west towards Andante

The rest of the trail to the Point is dry and high above sea level. More rugged crevasses on the east side provided great views. On the west side, the view of Salt Pond Bay - and really all the bays along the south side of the island was amazing. We tried to spot our villa, but we couldn't quite figure out which point Andante looked out on in order to locate our home away from home. The Point itself also offered some great views.

While we were stopped at the point and before turning back, it was sobering to remember that the area has some dark history. Slave owners victimized the indigenous people of the island. From what I read, Ram's Head Point was a rough but welcome refuge for many escaped slaves. Survival here could not have been easy. But it was hospitable enough that, during a slave uprising in 1733 by the Akwamu tribe, historians believe Ram's Head Point may have been a stronghold for the slaves. When their uprising was being put down, apparently a group of warriors committed suicide rather than be captured and return to slavery.

I don't mention this history (similar to what we learned about the sugar mill we visited years before) to be depressing, but it does seem important to keep in mind that in spite of all this beauty there was some deep human ugliness on this island in the past.

"On Monsieur's Departure" - Queen Elizabeth I

Queen Elizabeth I, circa 1575
artist unknown
Oil on panel, 113 x 78.7 cm

One last poem for National Poetry Month!

Ever since I heard Glenda Jackson read this poem as she played Elizabeth I in the BBC series Elizabeth R, I haven't been able to get it out of my head. The music of the words, the opposition in the images, and the melancholy cadence just come together in a unique way. Plus there's the fact that it's a tantalizing glimpse into the mind and heart of a well-known - yet enigmatic and private - ruler.

Elizabeth wrote this poem shortly after ending her courtship with the Duke of Alencon, which was likely her last chance at a married life and for children of her own to continue the Tudor dynasty. 

For my part, I have always believed that Elizabeth never meant to marry and not for any of the overly dramatic or weird medical reasons put forth by historians. It seems perfectly reasonable to me that a highly intelligent woman, like Elizabeth, who had power and security would never wish to give up either to a husband. 

Even so, she must have had some moments of regret about having to make this choice. And I've always read that regret in these lines. I doubt she truly second-guessed her choice, as it was the only choice that made sense for her, but all of us sometimes wonder - in our introspective moments - what if...

On Monsieur's Departure

I grieve and dare not show my discontent,

I love and yet am forced to seem to hate,

I do, yet dare not say I ever meant,

I seem stark mute but inwardly do prate.

    I am and not, I freeze and yet am burned,

    Since from myself another self I turned.

My care is like my shadow in the sun,

Follows me flying, flies when I pursue it,

Stands and lies by me, doth what I have done.

His too familiar care doth make me rue it.

    No means I find to rid him from my breast,

    Till by the end of things it be supprest.

Some gentler passion slide into my mind,

For I am soft and made of melting snow;

Or be more cruel, love, and so be kind.

Let me or float or sink, be high or low.

    Or let me live with some more sweet content,

    Or die and so forget what love ere meant.

- Queen Elizabeth I

St. John (Day 3)

Honeymoon Bay (from seestjohn.com)

Once we got completely disconnected from normal life, it was time to dive in. Literally! We started off this day with an spontaneous return to Honeymoon Bay. We had been here before, but it's so close to Cruz Bay and we enjoyed it so much that we decided to go back. Plus, with only one cruise ship arriving at St. Thomas, the odds that hordes of people would a) take a side trip to St. John, and b) spend that trip at Honeymoon Bay instead of the more popular Trunk Bay was small.

We were right! And we were rewarded with an almost deserted beach and a morning of excellent snorkeling. Honeymoon Bay is shallow and sandy all along the beach, so even someone totally unused to snorkeling can feel good about getting started. Off to either side of the bay are reefs that spread away from the beach into deeper water. Also, in the deeper middle area of the bay, is a grassy bottom. So you have just about everything for everyone. We tend to stick to the reefs over by Salomon Bay (on the left side of the bay as you face it).

Visibility was terrific and the water was pretty warm. Pelicans skim the water, sometimes gliding quite close to us. In waist deep water we were surrounded by schools of small fry with silver-neon stripes on their backs. Bigger fish darted in and out of the schools looking for an early lunch. Off by the reefs, we peeked into a crevice and saw a huge, colorful fish hanging shyly in the shadows. He had to be three feet long with a rounded head about the size of my own with puckered lips. No idea what that fish was, but it was an awesome sighting. There was also a sea turtle encounter in the grassy region but, unlike most turtles, this one was content to munch on his grass despite my presence. He was probably a bit bigger than my torso in size, and it was cool to just hang out watching him for a while. And of course, we enjoyed the usual host of sea critters. As for the coral, there was plenty of elkhorn, sea fans, some brain coral, and a few other varieties that I don't know the names for.

Jim enjoying a gimlet

After we were done with the bay, we hit the gift shop. This was to cancel out the $20 parking fee with a purchase. Last visit, we picked up a set of wooden bowls, and we got a larger version this time to go with them. During this trip to St. John I was determined to have some shopping successes. However, this was the only purchase we made. The shopping on St. John is just not very good.

Back at Andante, we sunned and swam. As evening came on, Jimmy made gimlets! It was very relaxing to sit on the deck with the sea breeze around us, 'getting happy', and enjoying the view.

More so than in past visits, there were a good number of large sea birds gliding past and above the villa. Since we're quite high up the island the wind is pretty strong here, and yet these birds go minute after minute without so much as a twitch of a wing. I think I recall reading in Oceanus magazine about how they manage to do this (have to re-read that article!).

Later, Jim won his sixth game of hand and foot in a row. Bad cards. Jim twice went out while I had still had my foot, which contained a red three. Grrrrr! I was officially pissed off. Not that I'm competitive or anything but...I vowed that before the vacation was over that Jim was gonna go down!

Villa View: Sunset over Chocolate Hole

We watched the sun set and then, later at night, did some stargazing. While my knowledge of the sky is not what it used to be, I was able to pick out several objects my own: Mars, Orion, Sirius, Rigel, and the massive red supergiant Betelguese. A tablet app helped us with the rest: Jupiter was brilliant near the zenith and we also located Arcturus, Castor, Pollux, Aldebaran, and a bunch of others. The stars always shine so beautifully on St. John, and we could definitely see the reddish tint of Mars and Betelguese with the naked eye.

What we did not see was the meteor shower. We had heard that the Lyrid meteor shower was happening and stayed up a little later than usual to watch but...nothing. As we researched a little, we learned that the best time for observing would be between 230AM and dawn. Forget it! I'm on vacation! Further, since we planned to hike on the hot and dry South side of the island the next day, we needed our sleep.

St. John (Day 2)

one of the views from the villa (click to expand)

After the Arrival Day Blues were over, Day 2 was much better!

This is all part of our arrival day strategy. On our first full day on St. John, we always plan to have no plans. Going by the mantra that inaction is not inactivity, we spent all of Day 2 at the villa we rented (Andante by the Sea). No driving, no planning, no thinking, no potential stress. An entire day to do nothing but to lie in the sun, swim in the private pool, nap in the hammock, eat, and read. The sole point of this day is to sloooow the pace waaaaay down.

And we succeeded! Within a few hours, I was in a state of samadhi via osmosis. On the rare occasions I thought about anything outside the villa or beyond the bay, the thought was like a cloud blowing by in the sky. "Yup," I'd think, "there is an outside world...oh look, it's floating away...bye bye!" Back to my nap.

By the end of the day, we had a little color going from laying out in the sun. During midday, when the sun gets really hot, I set up camp in the hammock. It's shaded by the upper deck, and there's a constant breeze to keep this comfortable. I spent at least an hour there, napping while rocking in the breeze, reading about the latest in supersymmetry, staring over the turquoise water, and listening to the ocean.

The surprise of the day was when Jim spotted an iguana that had come very close to the edge of the deck. Usually the iguanas stick to the cacti, watching us without much interest. There are usually between three to six on any given day (hence the name for the road leading up to Andante: Iguana Road).

However, on this particular day, the juicy petals of a flowering tree that rose to the edge of the deck were too tempting for this particular guy to resist. As he munched away on his afternoon snack he was close enough to touch. Of course, we were smart enough to settle for some up-close photos Jim took with his tablet. You can click this photo to expand.

Having left behind the normal pace of life, our arrival strategy is officially complete. Day 3 is the day we begin actual vacation activities...fully rested and relaxed. It works every year.

After Hours

Photo: Dave Dugdale/Flickr Creative Commons

Having fun going through my backlog of poetry to celebrate National Poetry Month...

I wrote 'After Hours' back in 1997 or 1998, during my last year living in Chicago proper. Techno music and its related sub-genres were bubbling just under the surface of pop culture, threatening to cross over and revitalize pop music. Unfortunately, this never really happened. However, it made for an exciting time to be into music and living in a city like Chicago where the dance music scene was so vibrant.

During this time, I was also reading very deeply about theoretical physics and planetary science. It was only natural that the science and music - two very different sources of inspiration - would surface in some fused format within the imagery of my poetry.

After Hours

Black garbed,
svelte,
I rave solo -
a gold ankh
painted on my jeans
to say more
than words.

Addicted to goa trance,
tangential to the cliques,
like a mix
I don't stop.
I get on up,
then chill
and feel the DJ
til the cops come.

Afterwards -
on moonless nights -
I 5AM cab
to the sea
and watch starlight
shining from galaxies
I'll never visit
glisten on the waves
washing to my feet.

I am not small;
the universe is big.

- Peter Cholewinski

St. John (Day 1)

Our fourth trip to St. John has begun (and ended, since we're back now). I'll be posting about our adventures for anyone who might be thinking about visiting St. John.

This is our fourth trip to the island; we've gone every other year for eight years. We stay at the same villa (Andante by the Sea) each time, and we recommend staying on the island as opposed to a cruise for the privacy and freedom to explore.  Despite its small size, St. John encourages exploration and return trips because - even though we are now familiar with the island - we always find new things to do or experience each time we visit. This time out, the new stuff we planned on were deep sea fishing (which technically we've done before but just not here), snorkeling Great Lameshur Bay, and hiking Ram's Head Trail.

Another reason we like coming back to the island is that our familiarity with it sure comes in handy on arrival day. For me, arrival days are a mess wherever we travel. There's just no use planning otherwise or trying to avoid it; something always goes wrong and we end up so tired we just want to eat, chill out for a few hours, and go to bed. Day 2 is when good things start to happen.

So, because we know our routine for getting to and arriving at St. John, the 'Arrival Day Blues' sting a lot less. And we were certainly put to the test this time. Our connecting flight to St. Thomas was delayed by half an hour, which meant we wouldn't get to the villa until dinner time (and we'd have to go grocery shopping in order to have something to eat for dinner). When we got to St. Thomas, heavy rain kept us sitting on the runway long enough to miss the 4PM ferry to Cruz Bay. When we finally got to St. John, we learned there was no power on a good chunk of the island due to the storm (including Andante). On the one hand, it was no big deal since we never use AC when island breezes are so plentiful. On the other hand, island breezes don't keep a fridge cold or light an electric stove. Arrival Day Blues, for sure!  While we didn't get angry or bitchy, I won't lie that I was very bummed. What an awful start!

Soon enough, the rain stopped. We sat out under the stars, which were especially brilliant due to the outage. In a few hours, the power came on. We unpacked, got settled, had dinner, and went to bed knowing tomorrow would be better. Another arrival day survived!

The Power of Words

In another post, I compared writing rhymed poetry with spell casting, mainly referring to the rhythm of the poem when it's read or spoken. However, it also occurs to me that poetry is like spell casting because it makes such powerful use of words.

Unlike prose, poetry doesn't use or need full sentences. A good poem condenses meaning so as to be conveyed by a fraction of the words used in a story or novel. By choosing the most powerful words to convey all the nuance intended, poetry taps the power of words more than any other form of written communication. It takes into account connotation and denotation, they way things sound, and how it flows.

"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it." - Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II

If You Have No Wings

As April is National Poetry Month...

2014 has not been an easy year so far and, as often happens in such situations, this poem comes to mind. I wrote it in 1987 when I was transitioning (slowly) through college and into full, independent adulthood. At that time, I didn't have a plan. My friends had all gone away to college, I hadn't admitted to myself I was gay, I didn't know what I wanted to do career-wise, and - most difficult - I didn't have a passion to drive my life. I felt myself idling when I had a lot of big decisions to make. It was all too big and overwhelming to think about.

I started writing 'If You Have No Wings' to vent. Only during the writing process, did the poem change from a venting session into a solution (note how it changes between first person and me telling myself what to do - not a conscious thing!). Poetry and art have often served me in this manner. I can feel my way through something that I can't assess in a linear or logical manner.

I've re-read this poem at several tough times during life. And, just like when I wrote it, it doesn't give me any answers. It reminds me we don't need answers to live. Taking a small step causes the next step to suggest itself. Before long, there's a path. That can be all the answer we need and, sometimes, all the answer there is.

If You Have No Wings

So the angel said,
"Fly to me."

I have no wings.
I have no things
that shall let me do
that which I cannot.

But all our wisdom
is limited by poor vision,
and the powers we possess
stunted by indecision.

So if you have no wings -
then walk!
If you have not the things -
then do without!

Someday I will be
greater...wiser,
but for now,
I must do without.

- Peter Cholewinski

"Invictus" - William Ernest Henley

It's national poetry month again! My first post for the month is this inspirational poem written by Wiliam Ernest Henley when he was 17 and recovering from having one of his legs amputated. It's a great anthem.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me, 
Black as the Pit from pole to pole, 
I thank whatever gods may be 
For my unconquerable soul. 

In the fell clutch of circumstance 
I have not winced nor cried aloud. 
Under the bludgeonings of chance 
My head is bloody, but unbowed. 

Beyond this place of wrath and tears 
Looms but the Horror of the shade, 
And yet the menace of the years 
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid. 

It matters not how strait the gate, 
How charged with punishments the scroll, 
I am the master of my fate: 
I am the captain of my soul.

lemongrassmusic

Lemongrassmusic is a German-based independent electronic/lounge music label which, according to its website, "produces high-class genre-bending music releases, widening the scope of the Lounge genre by exploring Chillout, Ambient, NuJazz, TripHop, Electronic World Music, Deep House, Soul and more." Over the past few years, Lemongrassmusic has become - like Om Records, ESL, and Six Degrees - a label I regularly check out for new music.

I don't even remember how I first heard of them. I think I must have stumbled on a label artist while listening to an Internet music feed or while bopping around on iTunes. However it happened, I ended up buying a couple of compilations (Lounge du Soleil 9 and 11, and Deep House Dreams 4), and then went on to buy albums by specific artists. The first artist album I purchased was the deeply chilled Pour L'amour by Lemongrass.  While the label's artists are firmly within the lounge, chill, and/or ambient continuum, most of them bring something unique to their sonic palette that distinguishes them from the run-of-the-mill martini/lounge, chill-out, downtempo output. The artists are from all over the world, bringing a variety of musical sensibilities to the table.

Here are some examples of the fantastic music available from this label:

Slow World (Germany): Label co-owner Daniel Voss is behind this latest project. The 2014 album, Spheres, is extremely ambient in an almost new age kind of way. However, the electronic sensibilities ensure this isn't just hippie spliff music. Extremely relaxing and, at 6 tracks totaling 39 minutes (for $4), is low risk exploration. Great for a late night drive, meditating, or just daydreaming to.

Mirage of Deep (Spain) - I've purchase two albums by this band. 2010's Talking to Stars and 2011's The Garden of Gaia. The former is very ambient and has the feel of a soundtrack to an atmospheric sci-fi movie, while the latter makes use of sounds from nature to evoke an outdoor environment. The Garden of Gaia is a little less ambient, as it makes greater use of beats. However, the beats are mostly gentle in tempo and have the feel of acoustic percussion. As with the Slow World release, these albums are about quality and coherence, not massive length. Each is about 25-30 minutes and cost under five dollars. This easily digestible length encourages repeat listening and becoming familiar with all the tracks.

MoShang (South Africa/Taiwan) - I love MoShang's 2010 album Further East. The sound is very unique, mixing a chill approach to downtempo beats with traditional Asian instrumentation. To add another layer of individuality, several of the tracks incorporate lyrics sung in native languages. The lyrics, however, are actually Chinese poetry from the Tang Dynasty (618 - 907 AD)! This album is obviously a labor of love, and is a fascinating mix of contemporary production and traditional sounds. Always takes me someplace exotic in my imagination.

Michiko (UK) - A super chilled version of deep house, Michiko's 2005 album Daydreamer goes down as smooth as Sade but has beats and grooves under Michiko's vocals that keep the music at a steady simmer.  She's had two more CDs come out since, but this one still satisfies my downtempo pop addiction.

Lemongrass (Germany) - This project of label co-owner Roland Voss has been around since 1996, and Voss continues to release albums under the moniker on an almost annual basis. Not only is Voss prolific, but there is quite a variety of sounds across these albums.  The albums vary from instrumental to atmospheric mood pieces to the sleek, sophisticated NuJazz of the absolutely stunning 2008 release Pour L'amour, which remains my absolute favorite downtempo album.  Just an amazing listening experience which at once relaxes you but also demands that you pay attention to the musicianship behind the aural candy. Kind of sorry that Voss didn't make another release directly in this vein, but then I'm glad that her didn't, as well. Love that these musicians just do what they do and that they are relatively free of the constraints that plague the creativity of major label artists.

Aside from the full-length releases, there are some great specific tracks to pay attention to:

• Glam Sam and His Combo (Sweden) - "The Last Days of Disco"
• Kondencuotas Pienas (Lithuania) - "So Pure" (Lemongrass Remix)
• Tafubar (Italy) - "Rondo Romano" (Redlounge Orchestra Epic Mix)
• Alexandra Hampton (USA) - "90 West"
• SW (Netherlands) - "Golden in the Gaze of the Sun"

Mumonkan, Koan 26: Two Monks Roll Up the Blinds

photo from the Paint-Draw-Create blog

When the monks assembled before the midday meal to listen to his lecture, the great Hogen of Seiryo pointed at the bamboo blinds. Two monks simultaneously went and rolled them up. Hogen said: "One gain, one loss."

I've spent a lot of time with this koan because, each time I thought about it, I drew a blank. A few ideas came to me, but nothing definitive. Since I didn't seem to be making any progress, this post was going to be some random babble about what I'd gotten out of it so far before I moved on to the next koan. Instead, as I wrote the post, I found myself arriving at a solution. Here it goes...

The solution is related to that of Koan 6 ('The Buddha Holds Out A Flower') and Koan 3 ('Gutei Raises A Finger'). In both koans, a deep understanding is transmitted wordlessly. In Koan 6, Shakyamuni Buddha holds out a flower to the people who have come to listen to him speak, but he doesn't say anything. Mahakashyapa responds by smiling, because he has wordlessly understood the lesson. In Koan 3, after a grisly lesson, an attendant becomes enlightened when Gutei raises his finger. For this koan, when Hogen pointed at the blinds, his intent was misinterpreted by the monks. They took it as a mundane request to roll up the blinds when it was actually his lecture.

The meaning of Hogen's comment is the monks lost the opportunity to receive instruction. The 'gain' is a rather ironic one in that, while illumination was let into the room, the greater illumination was missed by a too literal response to the master's gesture.

As I figured out the koan while writing about it here, I realized my problem I had been having trouble with it because I was trying to hard. I was looking for an 'in' to the koan. I was chewing it with my thoughts, rather than letting it melt in my mind.

Koan solutions are very much like enlightenment in general. If you try to hard, you fail. Or in the case of the two monks here: if you're too literal, you miss the wisdom.

"What Have I Done With My Life?"

Every so often, I get angry or sad and ask myself if I've taken the right course in life. Also, especially as I get older, I'm more conscious that this crazy train of life eventually runs out or track and that choices I've made (some good, others not so good) mean there are things in life I will not accomplish. For example, as a child I wanted to be an astronomer. That's not very likely to happen now. (Not that I wish I'd become one, mind you, but this state of mind I'm describing is definitely 'cup half empty' territory).

Over the past several years, other people have confided similar feelings to me. This was nice to hear, because each time I'd had such thoughts I'd just accuse myself of being a sniveling little crybaby. "Don't sit and whine!" I'd mentally yell. "Put your energy into doing something about it! And if you aren't going to do anything about it, then shut the f*** up!" Once I realized it was pretty common for people to feel this way, I was a lot easier on myself.

But since this is something many people feel, I thought I'd share a trick I invented many years ago for trouncing those feelings. It's (kind of) a Zen thing, because it gets me in touch with reality and pulls me away from a groundless emotional response to whatever bit of real or imagined suffering I'm laboring under. Here's what you do...

1. Pick seven or more major aspects of your life: relationship, career, education, a long term hobby you have, religious pursuits, travel, coming out process, family status, where you live, etc. Anything that's been a force in your life over the course of many years and/or that impacts how happy/successful you are. Create a column on a piece of paper for each of these items. I then also add a column call 'Life Experiences' (more on that later).
2. The first row under the 'Major Aspects' row is titled 'Today': Going across the columns, describe where you are today in each major aspect of your life. Write the actuality, not what you plan or wish for or hope to do. Only write what is. Don't write a book; just briefly lay it out in a few words or a sentence. For example, under 'relationship' I might write: "18 years with my partner this August, and we have the right to marry in June". Under 'Life Experiences', write something recent you have done for the first time, an award you just received, a great night with friends last week, a fantastic trip you took...anything special that didn't come to mind for the other columns and that has happened very, very recently.
3. The second row is titled '1 Year Ago': Do the same thing, but this time think about where you were one year ago today. Timing doesn't have to be exact (this isn't going to be audited by the IRS).
4. The third row is '5 Years Ago': Same deal. At this stage you may be thinking of other 'Major Aspects' that you forgot to create as columns. Add them! You may also start to reference the earlier rows as guides, creating a 'path' as it were in each column. This is totally fine to do (as long as you keep it real). You may also want to retitle the columns. Again, this is fine.
5. The fourth row is '10 Years Ago'
6. The fifth row is '15 Years Ago'
7. The last row is '20 Years Ago' (although you can go back further if you like, this is probably as far as you need to go for the exercise to work).

Look at this table you've created! Drink it in! Realize how much you have changed, how much you have accomplished, and the great moments you have experienced over the course of your life. Twenty years ago, did you imagine that all this would have happened? After doing this exercise, I was never able to think negatively about the life I'd led again. Sure, I've made mistakes, bad stuff has happened, and I have regrets, but to question whether I've lived my life fully...not a chance!

Now for the final step (and I do this mentally), focus on the amount of change across the rows.  Think about one year into the future, 5 years out, 10, 15, and 20. If you have as much change and experiences ahead of you as you had in the past then, even if you only live another few years before a runaway bus takes you out, there's a lot of amazing things you can't even imagine right now in store for you. 

When I did this part of the exercise, I also reminded myself that - barring any variants on the runaway bus scenario - I probably have another 30 or 40 years to live. My reaction was that, at the end of all this, I'll be so exhausted that I'll be ready to drop dead! It's hard to feel mortality too keenly when you recognize that you have lived your life well and that, even if your remaining time is brief, a lot of great stuff can happen. 

I've done this entire exercise every few years when I'm in that depressed mood. The results always amaze me, uplift me, and recharge me. Hope it helps someone else too.

Charity Shopping Spree 2014

First of all, on an unrelated mini-rant kind of note, I cannot believe how impossible is was for me to find a 'shopping spree' image that wasn't a woman or a woman with a man-drudge holding her bags. What gives?! Gay men have lots of disposable income (and we don't spend a disproportionate amount of it on shoes). Besides that, I feel so bad for those straight guys roped into being mules for female shop-a-holics. If I were straight, one weekend like that would drive me to the merry old land of Oz!

Anyway...

In the US during recent years, there has been a lot of activity by the government and conservative religious groups to undermine personal freedom. Also, around the world, there are places where basic human rights mean nothing. And let's not forget that, again in the US, there has been a resurgence of the superstitious assault on science and the arts. Some of the conservative groups that drive the hatred behind these efforts (murdering doctors, opposing gay rights, persecuting people who stand up for justice) are supported financially through the habit many religious adherents have of tithing a percentage of their income to a 'churches' or 'religious charities' that are little more than fronts for a political pressure groups.

This year, having been extra-inspired by the fantastic accomplishments achieved by charities I've supported, as well as the continued threat to principles and projects I hold dear, I decided to follow the example of the religious zealots. I figured out what percentage of my annual income I could likely part with and (after the financial dust of Christmas settled), did a flurry of donating. It was a charity shopping spree! And I thought I would try to make this an annual event which is part of my Christmas giving.

Aside from the obvious positive outcome of setting aside some time to make sure those donations go out, there are real practical benefits to an annual charity shopping spree. It will allow me to ignore most of the useless junk mail I get from charities I've already donated to. I don't need to be concerned about 'renewals'. Also, it's a good way to organize myself for tax purposes (my husband is an auditor, so I am held to strict account there!). So, besides the guilt-fee fun a charity shopping spree provides, there's plenty of positive reinforcement for this behavior on the rational side of my brain.

During what I hope will be my first annual charity shopping spree, I quickly got in over my head. There are so many fantastic organizations working impactfully for important causes that it took a lot of time to figure out who to support. Within an hour, what I had initially thought was a lot of money to donate felt meagre and paltry. However, every bit of support counts! On the positive side, you can't match the shopper's high I got while clicking those donate buttons! It was a great feeling to know that I had put my money where my mouth was and supported things that are important to me.

For this post, I'm listing out the charities I pitched into for Charity Shopping Spree 2014. If you are thinking about donating time or money - or wish to engage in a shopping spree of your own - I've included links to home pages and 'what we do' information for each group. They are all amazing and deserve our support!

The American Civil Liberties Union has the most thankless task imaginable: they fight to safeguard the basic rights we're guaranteed in the US Constitution. You'd think everyone would be totally in love with an organization like this (and, yes, many people are), but unfortunately for some Americans defending constitutional rights extends only to people they agree with. This is anti-American thinking and unpatriotic. If you don't support Constitutional rights for everyone, then you don't support what this country stands for (no matter how many flags you wave, wars you served in, or loud noises you make about your patriotism). Find out what the ACLU is doing by clicking here. You may not agree with everything they go to bat for, but the principle behind why they step up to the plate is above reproach.

Amnesty International is another organization that gets flack because they stand up for a principle, rather than adhering mindlessly to a political ideology. A global organization, Amnesty International fights to uphold human rights around the planet. In many countries (including our own) people are jailed without trial, tortured, brutalized, killed, or 'disappeared' for who they are or what they believe. Further, in all countries, politics can trump justice. Believing that light is the greatest disinfectant, Amnesty International is there to  publicize these situations. They also organize public scrutiny and pressure so that those who violate human rights do so with the world is watching them. That's an effective deterrence to evil.  Best of all, the letter writing campaigns the organization orchestrates are a great way to get personally involved in helping further the cause of human rights. Read about some of Amnesty International's recent victories by clicking here.

Charity begins locally (if not at home), and I love the Arts. So it's important for me to support local organizations that are dedicated to the Arts, especially in an era when the Arts are under political attack. The Art Institute of Chicago is a fantastic museum that brings art from all corners of the world and all periods of time under one roof. It's impossible to see it all in a single visit and, although I've been going here since I was a kid, there are still parts of the Museum I haven't visited. I can count on the Museum to twist my sensibilities a bit when I check out new exhibitions or even just parts of the permanent collection that don't usually draw me (see Zen Throw Down post for an example).

I love animals! You might say: "Well, who doesn't?" Unfortunately, lots of people don't. The ASPCA (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) has been around since 1866 fighting the good fight on behalf of animals that are mistreated or exploited. While I'm not clear on the exact relationship between the national organization and local SPCA's, they are all out to accomplish the same goal: protecting animals. If you know of an animal that is being abused, here's information about what you can do to stop it.

This is the first year that I've given to Doctors Without Borders. This organization was formed in 1971 to provide independent and impartial services to people in 60 countries where human survival is threatened by armed conflicts, epidemics, hunger, and natural disasters. I thought of this organization because, while it's important to pitch in during disasters that hit the headlines, there is always a disaster happening somewhere in the world. What better way to always help than to support an organization like this. If you want to read stories about some of the work being done by Doctors Without Borders, click here.

Greenpeace, if I'm honest, is a charity with which I often have a lot of problems. I've donated to them for years, even though I most definitely do not agree with everything they do. Further, I sometimes find their methods annoying. However, as I stated earlier, I support charities based on the underlying principle they stand for and not because they do only things I personally sanction. Greenpeace is 'the largest independent direct-action environmental organization in the world' and, in the area of environmental protection, it seems that strong measures are often required. After all, when natural resources or species are gone, they are gone forever. Pretty big stakes.

The Human Rights Campaign is obviously a charity that is very near and dear to me. I've supported them through donations or volunteering for much of my adult life. I remember being impressed by them when a spokesperson came to speak at a gay professional organization to which I belonged back in the mid-90s. When he made the 'mistake' of suggesting the gay community solicit support for Illinois initiatives from Republicans, he received a sneering response from many members of the audience. Of course this was during the tail end of the AIDS epidemic and many of these gay men had seen the worst of it happen while the Republican party did nothing and propagated the notion of the 'Gay cancer'. So I get their reaction. However, the spokesperson chastised them a bit. He mentioned how some Republican Illinois legislators he had contacted were perfectly happy to vote 'yes' on pro-gay issues. When he'd asked why they didn't do it, they replied: "No one ever talked to me about it." Moral of that story? Prejudice cuts in both directions. Lesson learned. Anyway, while the HRC is currently getting a lot of press around the gay marriage issue, they do a lot of other great work for the community. Check it out.

I've been a supporter of space exploration and space science for a really long time. It fires my imagination, furthers science here on Earth, and is an important expression of the human spirit. The Planetary Society is an activist organization founded by Carl Sagan and dedicated to making sure we maintain our science program, in particular the scientific vitality of that program. However, they do a great many other interesting things as well (like educational outreach). One of the best benefits of donating to this group is that you automatically get a subscription to their fantastic quarterly magazine The Planetary Report. It has awesome graphics and well-written articles, often written by the scientists at the front lines of space missions or research. It's probably getting close to twenty years that I've been supporting The Planetary Society, and I love how it helps me keep in touch with what's going on in the world of space exploration when I no longer read up on the subject as avidly as I once did. My only regret is their sad penchant for trying to get Pluto reinstated as a planet (move on!) and their apparent inability to get a decent logo (um, guys, schooners are for NOAA, not NASA).

Not too long ago, I posted a mini-rant on reproductive rights, emphasizing that this is an issue of importance to everyone. Not just women. While Planned Parenthood does work to support reproductive rights, they are a lot more than that. They provide information and services around a whole range of critical issues: birth control, body image, and STDs. They are also not just about women, as they provide information and services for men's sexual health too. At a time when a variety of anti-sex and anti-health efforts are being pushed by narrow-minded ideologues, it's a no-brainer to support an organization like this.

Another inspirational, science-based organization that I support is the SETI Institute. I believe it's very likely extraterrestrial life exists. But I'm not satisfied with belief; I want proof! And so I support an organization that is tireless in seeking out that proof through a variety of means. The biggest argument made by people (and some scientists) against SETI is that the odds of making contact are low. However, I agree with the statement (not sure who said it): "The probability of success is difficult to estimate, but if we never search, the chance for success is zero." I would also argue that given what we have learned about the environments on Mars, Europa, Titan, and Enceladus that it is only  matter of time before we discover some form of microbial alien life right here in our own Solar System. That discovery would then raise the odds for finding intelligent life elsewhere in the galaxy quite a bit. Since the discovery of alien life in any form would represent a shift in the human mindset on par with heliocentrism or evolution, supporting this organization is a way to help ensure we make that leap. On a side note the SETI Institute, like the Planetary Society, seems forever challenged in finding a reasonable logo. Maybe someone should donate one?

Another local organization/service I support is  - I believe -Chicago's only radio station for classical music: WFMT. WFMT is special because they seem to employ a broad definition of 'classical' music. They have a program related to folk music, and they also sometimes air rag or jazz. As far as traditional classical music goes, they play much more than opera and full orchestral music. This allows non-expert listeners like me to get a flavor for the true scope and variety of the genre. I've been introduced to some very intriguing artists and instrumental combinations through WFMT. Aside from that, in the era of The Kardashians and Duck Dynasty, there's little question we must do what we can to ensure some form of entertainment exists that requires having a brain and/or taste.

As much as supporting the ACLU, Amnesty International, or Greenpeace can raise eyebrows (especially among conservatives), it's nothing compared to what people say about Wikileaks. This is sad, because all this organization does is put a spotlight on the hideous, slimy, and reprehensible things that our government (and other governments) do behind our backs. As Wikileaks says on its site: "Publishing improves transparency, and this transparency creates a better society for all people." Wikileaks' expose on out of control spying committed by the NSA is a prime example of the abuse of power our government doesn't think twice about committing if we allow them to exist behind closed doors, under rocks, and in the shadows. Wikileaks, and organizations like them, provide much needed (because it is clearly unwanted) oversight. This is especially important when the major news organizations are either too gutless to ask hard questions of our government and corporate leaders or are too busy kowtowing to a political party to care. Instead of demonizing people like Edward Snowden, we should be focusing our anger at a government whose lack of moral fibre makes revealing classified data necessary.

Here's another scientific outfit that's doing amazing work, most of which takes place right here on Earth (although in some ways the ocean can be as much an alien frontier as space!). To me, the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution is like NASA or JPL for the ocean. You can get a taste of the wide range of work they do, from research to conservation to exploration, by clicking here. Once you support them, you are kept up to speed on what's going on with their fantastic quarterly publication Oceanus, which is worth the cost of supporting them all by itself! Whether you are into science for science's sake or just think whales and sharks are cool, this organization is doing something you'll get into. And they are a rarity in another way, they are a scientific organization with a reasonable logo! (I admit I picked a good one for this post, they do have plenty of eyesores).

Last, but definitely not least, is our local PBS station in Chicago: WTTW. When I was a kid, WTTW brought me Sesame Street, the Electric Company, and Zoom (sorry, but Mr. Rogers' goody-goody schtick always creeped me out). Then in my teens, there was Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Ebert and Siskel's Sneak Previews, and (okay, I admit it) Tom Baker-era Doctor Who. These days, I'm a full-on Masterpiece addict, an illness stoked to high intensity with the glory that is Downton Abbey. Yes, the televised drives are annoying, but consider: would you rather see Kmart ads with men shaking their junk like bells to play a Christmas carol or have your intelligence insulted by the latest cutesy ad masking the soullessness of an insurance conglomerate? Just saying.

If the idea of a Charity Shopping Spree appeals to you, get to it! I guarantee you will have a special glow afterwards.

2.11.14 The Day We Fight Back!

Two years ago, the Internet went dark to fight toxic legislation in Congress that would have crippled freedom on the Internet (the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA)). This action successfully killed the legislation! 

This Tuesday, Internet companies and people who care about civil liberties are banding together to do it again. This time, we're taking aim at NSA surveillance and standing up for our freedom to communicate without our own government spying on us. More than 4,000 websites and organizations will be joining us to flood Congress with tens of thousands of emails and phone calls demanding our representatives pass the USA FREEDOM Act, our best hope for serious NSA surveillance reform.

To ensure this day of action goes viral, just like the SOPA blackout did two years ago, we need to do everything we can to make sure our friends and family know about it and join us. To find out the simple actions you can take to make The Day We Fight Back go viral and to join in applying the pressure needed to pass the USA FREEDOM Act, click here. 

It's time to stop the NSA from invading our privacy and to let all our leaders know that we will not tolerate our government spying on us!