Baby Steps

Okay, maybe I'm not this bad off, but I sure feel like I'm starting from scratch. Started practicing forms again to get back in the saddle, and I got winded rather quickly. Not from lack of air, but from sheer lack of fitness. I also did some push-ups, crunches, and curls.

It's pretty clear to me that I'm starting back into this from a really low place. I can't remember the last time I was this out of shape, and it's clearly going to take a lot of time and effort to even get back to where I was. Jim keeps assuring me I've just lost tone and that I'm not flabby. However, I feel very out of shape. It bums me out big time, but I keep reminding myself that the surgery will have been worth it in the long term.

I went to check out the gym where I work, but there was no one at the front desk. Arrrggh! This what I remember gyms to be like. Impersonal, with marginally intelligent employees whose main qualification is the ability to look good in a pink spandex bra. Okay, I'm being bitter. Just shut up and go back tomorrow.

I've got to do this. I can't go back to martial arts class until I get my cardio fitness back, and I shudder to think what our first bike ride will be like if I don't get active soon. I should probably also stop in to see the master and let him know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.  Getting back into this is so difficult. Inertia is tough to escape from, but I know I'll feel so much better once I get back on track. Gotta keep my head up and just do it!

Sinus Surgery: 2nd Post-Op Visit

More descabbing! Urk! Ick! Bleah! After seeing the stuff the doctor was prying out of my inner nose, I can't buy into this 'body as a temple' stuff anymore.

It was very uncomfortable, but I feel like my passages are even more open now than ever. Don't have to go back for two months and - best of all - I can work out again! I've already checked out pricing for the health club where I work. After my business trip this week, maybe I'll go in and check the place out.

My voice is still a little more nasal than before, but Jim says it's really not that noticeable.  Things are looking up, and I'm really glad I did this.

First Post-Surgery Visit

Yeeeeeeesh! This surgery and recovery does have its little moments. I've been doing pretty well for the last two days, though I still get kind of sleepy from the anesthesia still. 

Today as my first visit with the doctor after the surgery. I thought it was going to be a sinus flush to clean out my cavity. Nope! They deadened my nose up, and then he went up there with this thin metal tool to pull off scabs from the surgery. Urgggh!

It's not that it hurt (well not much), but it was creeping me out! He's sticking this thin metal thing way up my nose and then it feels like he's pushing a needle into the tissue up there. At one point, he pulled out this long, absolutely hideous piece of gelatinous sludge out of my nostril. So gross!

I'm good to fly in about a week. Still need to hold off on weights and martial arts, and I may have a little bit more bleeding. But, hey, life is good because I can blow my nose now. That's sure to be entertaining.  And the doctor assured me that once my swelling is down (a few more weeks on that) that I will definitely have an easier time breathing.

Next post-surgery visit is in two weeks.

Final Stage of Recovery?

Not to be gross, but there's a lot of old and dried blood that you drain after the sinus operation. I think the bulk of it is gone now, and I'm much more clear headed than before. I have still have some congestion due to whatever is left in my head just sitting up there, and that can make me a little off on my balance.  In any case, I will try to go to work tomorrow, though I need to take it easy and not push myself too hard.

Tuesday, I go to the doctor so he can 'flush out' my sinuses with fluid.  I'll also get more solid timelines for when I can work out, fly, swim, etc.

Breathing is a little bit better than before the surgery, but I do not anticipate the real improvement to occur until at least the flushing. Not sure what the steps are after that, but we'll see.

...and just when I thought it couldn't get worse

I get a cold! Imagine yourself draining and tired and miserable, and then you get a temperature and a fever. This just gets better and better! Of course, I had to call the doctor to make sure there wasn't any potential issue (there isn't), and blowing my nose is still off limits. I got the fever down with Tylenol, but I spent most of the day in a narcoleptic daze watching Jerry Springer and that hillbilly fraud Dr. Phil. Bad, bad day.

This morning I feel much improved. Still kind of stuffed in the head, but the draining seems to be a lot easier. Having learned my lesson, I'm not going to push it. More bed rest and quiet for me until I see definite signs of improvement. Still, I wasn't exhausted from eating breakfast this morning; that's got to be a good thing.

In Which Peter Learns He's Not Invincible

I had trouble sleeping last night in the upright position, so I got up early (as I usually do) and surfed the web a bit. Bouncy as can be, I was thinking how in another day or so I should be ready for my doctor visit and why did the doctor suggest that I rest up so long? I told Jim I was much better and even suggested I could carry the overloaded laundry basket down the stairs to do laundry. Note: Jim is doing the laundry, and I didn't carry anything downstairs but my tired ass when I needed to eat.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. Tired. Dead tired. Napped all morning. Still tired.   

Recovery Going Surprisingly Well

Lots of sleeping, but I have to say my recovery is going very well. The anesthesiologist said that docs have moved away from Demerol for out-patient procedures. That means no (or very little) post-op nausea; I've had none. While I'm not hungry, I've had no trouble eating a little something (though that toast disagreed with my throat post-breathing tube). I think I was also lucky in that I did not end up needing a stint as part of the corrective surgery on my septum, and I've needed minimal packing inside my nose.

I wear gauze taped under my nose to soak up all the post-op drip (how's that for delicately wording it), I have a saline spray that I use in my nostrils to keep the 'flow' from drying up and clogging, and I had to sleep last night propped up. But otherwise, I can't say I'm all that inconvenienced or uncomfortable. I slept well all night. Guess I'd have to say that the worst part is dry throat from the breathing tube. My only real pain was during the first few hours after the surgery, and I'm not taking any pain killers. Just antibiotics.

Mentally, I'm perfectly coherent though pretty fragile. Just kind of quiet and meek and emotional (clearly not myself, in other words). I can't focus on anything that requires deep thought without being tired out, and after 24 hours in bed and being wheeled around I'm unsteady on my feet. There will be some post-op doc visits, and I can feel a little clogging in my airways as things heal (all as expected).

Net-net, I'm happy I did this! I think it's going to do wonders for my overall quality of life.

Mmmmm! I'm getting my appetite back!

Sinus Surgery

Back from surgery, and things are going very well. Lots of things about my first surgery/general anesthesia were jarring experiences, but I had great doctors and nurses who made everything very comfortable for me. Will be dozing and recovering a lot today.

Best part is that I can already tell that my airways are much more open! And Jim is being so wonderful! I feel very safe and protected and cared for right now. And Fermi is sleeping at the foot of the bed to keep me company. I feel very fortunate right now.

Sinus Issues

Tomorrow is my surgery. My first surgery ever. General anesthesia and everything. Glad I'll be knocked out for it. I'll wake up to find my nose and sinuses stuffed with cotton or whatever it is they cram up there to help it heal, will likely be out of it most of tomorrow, and then I'm sure there will be loads of pain.

I wasn't really too concerned about it, but I have to admit I am a little nervous. It's not like it's a risky procedure. In fact, I've been amazed how many people I know or meet or have either had it done or known someone close to them who has. Still, I'll be happy when it's over.

I treated myself to pizza and now I'll have some cookies. Have to stop eating and drinking (even water) as of midnight).

Wish me luck!

Frozen

We've had wind chills overnight of -30 and single digit highs during the day, but I'm not talking about only the weather.

My sinus issues continue to keep me from going to martial arts. I plan to go and then find myself not getting enough air and getting tired or having a headache. Kind of depressing. This problem is also either stopping me from working out...or my increasing inertia is snowballing and just killing my drive to do anything. Lastly, there's decisions being made at work relating to whether or not I get a well-deserved promotion that will make a big difference in my choices career-wise. Until all these different things are resolved, I'm kind of frozen. It's not a good feeling for me, and it's slowed me down in meditating as often, writing (no haiku lately), posting on this blog, planning our vacation, meeting up with friends, etc.

Part of it is the upcoming surgery, which I know will knock me on my back for at least a week. Part of it is not knowing about the promotion. Part of it is the weather. It all is creating a kind of burned-out feeling, as if everything in my life is 'on pause'. Of course, I can't blame anyone for this except myself. I should have enough spine to just get up off my ass and change the direction of things if I don't like it, but I honestly don't seem to want to (which makes me feel even worse).

I'm probably being way too hard on myself. With all the unknowns and a surgery coming up, maybe I'm just instinctively cocooning myself. You know, just bracing myself for the big changes (good and/or bad) that I know are coming.

Anyway, that's why my postings have slowed down a bit lately.

The good news is that everything should be resolved fairly soon. The surgery will happen within a month (including all the pre-surgery doctor's visits and tests), and I think in the next couple weeks I'll know whether I have a career at my present employer or just a job. I may not be able to do anything about the weather, but winter should be less harsh about two months from now. So I guess I'm just allowing myself to slow down a bit and chill (no pun intended) and wait for the better times ahead since there's nothing much I can do to make the wheels spin faster.

Sinus Issues Continue

As mentioned in an earlier post, I've been having issues with breathing and sinus infections. Got in to see my ENT doctor, and they did a CT scan to see what's going on with my sinuses. As it turns out my septum is pretty badly deviated. It was quite bent to the right, which explains why that nostril is pretty much closed off much of the time now. Additionally, there is a bone spur jutting from the septum to the right. With all the tissue around this stuff, it's no surprise that any allergic response or cold or anything that inflames those tissues leads to my nostrils closing up.

The doctor explained the surgery to me, and I think it's a better option than just taking allergy shots or nasal sprays for the rest of my life. Of course, this will be the first operation I've ever had. I'll be put under and everything. Luckily, it's outpatient and the recovery time isn't long. Will definitely be off work for a few days though. In the meantime, I'll just have to make it until mid-February.

Given that this is going to be settled imminently, I'm trying to gear up to get back to hapkido. It's tough because there are definitely days when I know that my nose is too closed for it to make any sense to go. Hopefully, this will all be over soon. I'm really looking forward to being able to breathe like a normal person!

Sinus Cavity Issues

I'm very, very bummed out. I haven't been able to lift for a month, and I haven't been able to effectively practice hapkido in nearly two months. My sinus cavity had become so clogged and my deviated septum (i.e., when the bone under your nose is tilted so as to reduce the size of one nasal passage) had caused so much swelling that I couldn't get enough air to sustain any athletic activity without becoming winded within minutes. I tried to tough it out but, at the last martial arts I went to, I had to sit down twice gasping for air. The second time, I seriously thought I was going to pass out.

My ENT doc did a CAT scan, and it showed that I had fluid gathering in the blue and green areas above. The fluid and lack of other 'problems' is a good sign, because it means I've just got an infection. So they put me on my third set of antibiotics. This one is a doozy, though. Apparently, it increases the chance of muscle tear or injury. I'd probably be okay because the risk is greatest for older people, but why chance it? It's not like I can function properly in class anyway. They also put me on a steroid and an inhaler to open things up so I drain better. This has been great, because the drainage was clogging my throat like glue, and I constantly felt the need to hack. At some points, everytime I took a breath I could feel this weight of gunk in my throat. After all this is cleared up, I'm probably going to get surgery done to reduce the problem of the deviated septum, which is what makes these infections more likely to occur and really tough to get rid of when they happen. Plus, I'll be able to breath more easily in general.

In the meantime, though, I'm not about to lose my stuff! I scoured the web for all sorts of stretching exercises used by martial artists so that I can keep limber, and I've been practicing my forms religiously so I don't lose them. Now that the clogging is reduced, I may even try a little practice at home with the bag to keep my boxing skills at the level I'd got them to. I'll probably hold off on weights until well after the new year. Free weights are probably the most likely way for me to get injured, so best to avoid that.

I feel really guilty about ditching out for so long, but I keep telling myself it's the smart thing to do.