So the reason I blogged about the concept of 'phoenixing' is that I'm in the middle of a life process that is either really mature or just not good at all. In the past, phoenixing was something that just sort of happened. I mean, it took concentrated effort but it's not as if I planned it or anything. I may have become aware that it was happening towards the end, and I can recall a few times dancing to 'New Attitude' by Patti LaBelle when I did realize it (yes, I just admitted that). However, I have never consciously decided to phoenix.
Right now, for the first time, I am making a conscious effort to phoenix. If you've read my blog, you'll notice there are posts titled 'Back To...' Back to Piano. Back to Art. Back to the Gym. Some of these 'back to' entries were premature, because I fell away from the important thing I'd got back to. The reason for all this back to stuff and the mixed results arising from it was my job. It was just sucking up all my time and energy and desire.
I have a new job now, and I work at home. This is a new way of living, and it forces me to reconstruct my life so that my job is an organic part of my existence. My goal is that doing this will allow me to keep going with some of the things I got back to and make a second stab with some of the ones I got back to and then fell away from. Plus, there's plenty I've been wanting to do and just didn't have the time or energy.
So far, my efforts have been modest. I set aside time during my workday for brief mental breaks. For instance, I finish a report and then go play piano for twenty minutes. Or I check some data and then read a few articles in one of my magazines so my pile doesn't get too high. I've started thinking about out how to integrate work outs with work, which is tough because I love to start work early in the morning (as in 6AM!). Just trying out various ways to keep fresh and re-energize myself. Kind of a make-over really.
More broadly, and for after hours, I've created a reading list to keep my momentum going there, and I'm considering going back to school for another Masters degree. A lot of thinking/dreaming/planning right now, with baby steps of action. However, the idea is that I'm taking back control of my life and, in so doing, am consciously trying to phoenix. I'm not sure that can work. Never tried it before.
We'll see.
But for now..."I'm in control, my worries are few...ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooooooooh!"
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
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