The Creative vs. The Physical

For most of my life, I've been creative in at least one area. Whether it was writing, painting, drawing, music, or whatever, I've always been actively creating something. For the last several years, though, it seems like I have completely changed focus. I've been almost entirely about physical stuff...almost jock-like...and been really interested in active pursuits. I've learned how to horseback ride (a little), I've been lifting a lot, and now martial arts again, plus biking.

For quite some time, this change has really been bugging me. It's so different than the way I've lived most of my life that I assumed it was some kind of failing in myself. However, I think I've realized that I need to let myself off the hook. I'm not sure why this change has taken place, but it doesn't seem like I have much say about it. It's not that I don't "have time" for being creative or that I don't have ideas. I just seem to consistently choose to do other things than the creative stuff.

On some level, I wonder if part of it is that I have been a lot more dedicated to my job than I have ever been in previous places I've worked. Not sure I like that much at all, especially as a reason for a change in my personal life. But there it is.

The bottom line is that I am very happy so, as long as that is the case, I suppose I should accept this change and see where it takes me. It's just very strange, after over thirty years, to accept living life without some creative pursuits burning a hole in my mind. Of course, all that time spent in those areas has added to me in ways that will never go away. Later in life, if I find myself returning to the creative side of myself, I'm sure it will all be waiting for me like an old blanket to wrap myself in.