Zazen

poem 3 from The Ancient Elm

Deep in my Untamed Wood,
I gaze into a volume
of late autumn sky,
close my eyes,
become my breath,
vanish into seas of air.

echoes of wind in
Antarctic Wastes…
endless grasses tossing in
Great Plains…
bottomless blue of the
Caicos Deep…

In sympathy
I connect all places
and create…Nothing.
It is there I can
shine
myself.

Original light,
cleansed prism,
souvenir from my mythology
brought back
to this world
like a newborn star.

'Zazen' is the term used in Zen for sitting in meditation, so this poem is about what the speaker does when he goes 'outside' into the Untamed Wood as described in Wizard of the Wood. The Untamed Wood for me also represents escaping the place where things are ordered or structured based on illusion, which makes it harder to figure out what you need as opposed to what you are supposed to do. It is here that the speaker finds a clear sense of himself and a clear purpose. Meditation can give this because it is about reaching a place of quiet and peaceful reflection. At the same time, it's reaching a place where you are not thinking about anything per se.

The best way I heard it described is that ideas and thoughts come to you, but you only acknowledge them before letting them go. Sort of like if a helium balloon came near me. I would glance at it, softly tap it away, and go back to what I was doing. I usually think something like "That's interesting; I'll think about that later." If I think about anything it might be a koan I read.

In any case, reaching this point - called 'samadhi' - is a place that I find realizations and knowledge just come without effort because I've cleared my mind of clutter (illusion): 'am I going to get that promotion?', 'what is she saying about me?', 'what should I do about [insert current drama]?' etc.. Finding this knowledge is what is meant by 'shining myself', because so much of taking control of your life is just being true to yourself.

The last stanza explains the power of coming back from samadhi. I feel like I go back to my day-to-day life calmer and with a clearer sense of what is important and what is not, which includes drama I'm creating in my own head and things I can't really do anything about (and the not important stuff is most of what I - and most people - are usually wound up about). This is why Zen is so great; it frees you of illusions and lets you shine easily.